reflecting on the fall!

What a week this has been!  I, having a slight ADHD life, decided I would pick one project and finish it regardless of what would not get done in the mean time.  First project I chose was the front porch and as of tomorrow I can say it will be completed.  I have also made the decision to get back to the healthy me I used to know and love!  I am armed with a schedule and recipes to get me going in the right direction again.  I'm not sure if it was the stress of not knowing if I would have a job or running to the point of exhaustion that was causing me to have these weird cravings for "JUNK" foods but whatever it was I ran with it.  The biggest problem with eating the way I did was not the actual eating itself and the struggle with my "healthy self beliefs" but it was the side effects from eating that way.  the worse I ate, the more tired and run down I became and the more I would crave the foods that sent me on the spiral I was trapped in.  Before long your skin breaks out and your whole way of thinking changes.  You allow yourself to think negative thoughts and have down moments.  It's a vicious cycle and even though I knew what was going on, I kept telling myself "I'll start over tomorrow".  Ever have that happen?  Tomorrow turns into many tomorrows.  Believe me when I say "S.A.D. (standard american diet) IS AN ADDICTION!"  You can go for days, weeks, or months without wanting or desiring cooked or processed foods and then the first time you tell yourself "one bite won't kill me" BAM!  it starts.  Much like someone who quits smoking.  You go along for days, weeks, months or even years without thinking about it and then you pick that one cigarette up thinking "one won't hurt me".  Next thing you know you find yourself having another and telling yourself "I can quit at any time".  Before you know it you are smoking just as much as when you quit!  Addictions are real!  All you can do is love yourself and ask if this is what you really want.  If it is not then get up on the horse and try again.  I'm through with beating myself up when I fall off.  I quit smoking almost 10 years ago and that was after several attempts to quit.  I know that when I finally get it right, there will be no turning back!  One day at a time!  Sometimes 1 hour at a time........